Send lang sa akin ito through email want to share lang. Credits to the owner.
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT’S MEDICAL CHARTS:
“Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.” (malamang. ang tagal nun eh!)
“On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.” (wow! magic)
“She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night..” (too much info..)
“The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.” (tears + crying = depressed. duh)
“The patient has been depressed since she began Seeing me in 1993.” (kasalanan mo lahat doc)
“Discharge status: Alive but without permission.” (gulo naman kausap)
“The patient refused autopsy.” (eh baka kase gusto pa nya mabuhay???)
“The patient has no previous history of suicides.” (kung meron, bangkay sana ang pasyente mo doc)
“She is numb from her toes down.” (in other words, just her toes.)
“While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.” (sabi ko na nga ba may nangyayaring milagro sa ospital eh)
“The skin was moist and dry.” (ummm ano ba talaga??)
“Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.” (dyos ko day)
“Patient was alert and unresponsive.” (alam ko na ano regalo ko sayo for xmas doc. dictionary!)
“Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.” (huh??)
“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.” (yeah, husbands cause constipation)
“The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.” (buti pa sya may lover)
“The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.” (ano po ulit yun doc???)
“Skin: somewhat pale but present.” (hmmm buti na lang hindi past)
“Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.” (so, abnormal pala maging magulang)
picture from: athleticadvisor.com